Ignorance is Bliss
by NCIStivaAddict
Summary: Tony is dying to know what Ziva meant in that warehouse. He wants to know what happened in Somalia. But, sometimes ignorance truly is bliss. Can he handle the truth? Tag to Masquerade, but a multi-chap. RAted T for safety. Mention of RApe and Torture.
1. Shock

**New Story! Ok, yea yea I know I said I wouldn't start another one but I couldn't resist. I wrote this last week and I just had to post! I will only continue if I get 5 reviews. **

**Enjoy!!**

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_"I have seen firsthand what happens, when, convenience wins out."_

_"You never talk about it."_

_"What is there to talk about?"_

_"Come on, Ziva."_

_"What Saleem did was bad enough. Becoming like him, would be worse."_

Tony's head slowly came up again. He looked up and over at the door across the hall. He HAD to do this. It had been a few weeks. Oh, how he had wanted to press the conversation further then, but he wanted to get her all the time she needed. But, he was tired of waiting. He had to know what happened.

Slowly, he stood up and walked across the hall. His hand lifted to knock on the door. Suddenly different scenarios ran through his head.

Ziva punching him. Ziva cussing him out. Ziva letting him in but telling him nothing….Ziva breaking down, crying, telling him everything.

None of them he particularly enjoyed and the last was almost impossible. But he didn't care. His hand raised the rest of the way and he knocked softly on the door.

_Here goes nothing._ He thought as he held his breath.

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Ziva's head shot up when she heard the knock. Quickly she put on a sweater and raced to the door. Wondering who would be at her apartment at this hour.

The door swung open to reveal one Anthony DiNozzo.

"Tony?" Ziva said in surprise.

"Ziva."

"Tony, What are you doing here?" Ziva asked, still in shock.

"Can I come in?" Ziva nodded and led him to her living room.

They sat on opposite sides of the couch. Tony messed with his hands nervously in his lap. Ziva pulled her sweater tighter around her. Finally, Tony spoke.

"Ziva, what you said in that warehouse." Ziva's eyes grew big. "About Saleem. I…I want to know what happened to you." Tony looked over at her, his eyes pleading.

Ziva stood up and walked to the window. "I cannot. I am not ready" She said as she looked out the window.

Tony stood up and followed her. He stood beside her and looked at her, his eyes boring holes in her side, trying to read her.

"Would you like some coffee, Tony?" Ziva said abruptly, looking over her shoulder at him. Tony only nodded. Ziva nodded back then moved to the kitchen.

Tony followed her to the doorway but stopped there. He leaned against it and watched her prepare the coffee. Then, she reached up to get the sugar out of the cabinet and he saw it. A scar. Previously hidden by the sweater but revealed when the sweater rose up. He moved to her, almost in a trance, his fingers ever so lightly touching the scar.

Ziva inhaled as she felt Tony touch one of her scars she had tried so hard to hide. She turned around quickly. She found herself face to face with him. As she looked into his eyes she saw not anger like she feared, but sadness, worry, and guilt.

"Tony." She whispered.

"Come on, Ziva." He whispered back. "Tell me what he did to you."

Ziva held her breath. Could she do it? Could she tell him what happened? No one but her knew what had happened. She had never told anyone. Slowly she nodded.

"Ok, Tony."


	2. Beginning

**You asked for it! So here it is!!! Thank you to all the people who reviewed, please continue with constructive criticism and maybe something you liked.**

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_"Okay Tony."_

Tony simply nodded and lifted his hand, his eyes saying everything. She slowly took his hand and let him lead her back to the couch. Once they were seated, Tony spoke, "Start from the beginning." he said sternly, but with a caring voice. "From the time we left you on the tarmac in Tel Aviv." He stuttered over the "we left you" part.

Ziva looked down at her lap, messing with her hair nervously.

"Ziva?" Tony said, she looked up. "You need this to heal. ___I_need this to heal. But, I don't want you to share anything if you aren't ready, I won't push." She nodded, then began.

"I…" She took a deep breath, then sighed. "I felt betrayed by my father, by Mossad, by you…by Gibbs." Tony nodded, telling her to continue.

"I walked away from that tarmac with determination to gain back my father's trust." She looked him in the eyes, with tears brimming from hers. "I went on that mission in spite of you." Tony swallowed, this was not what he had been expecting.

"After we got off the boat, I headed to Saleem's camp. I knew that killing all those men had been wrong, that walking away from you had been wrong. I just wanted to die." She paused again, taking another deep breath.

"Every night, I prayed to a God, who I'm not even sure exists, that somehow, someway you might find me. But, after two months I finally got it through my head that you weren't coming." She choked out.

Tony reached out and grabbed her hand, her head shot up, revealing a few tears that had escaped. With his other hand, he gently wiped them away.

"That's enough for tonight." He whispered. She nodded. "How about tomorrow we go to dinner, my treat? Then, we can go back to my place and talk some more."

"I'd like that." Ziva said, a smile on her face. Yes, she knew that Tony was just being her friend, but the thought of going to dinner just the two of them made her head spin.

She walked with Tony to the door. He put his hands in his pockets, feeling awkward. "Well, um, good night." He whispered. Ziva nodded and he left. She shut the door behind him then slowly slid down the wall.

Tony, had come to her place, at night. She had actually talked to him about what had happened. Sure, she had said very little, but just getting that of her chest made breathing feel easier. Then, she decided one thing, no matter how hard it would be, she would tell Tony everything. She ___had _to tell Tony everything.

Maybe, they could get back to the way they were before Somalia, or maybe even better.


	3. Dinner

**Here you go!!!! Thank you so much for all the reviews!! It keeps me writing so keep it up! Sorry about the delay, I hope they will come faster in the future**

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Tony fixed his hair for about the twentieth time. He adjusted his tie then took it off. He put a different tie on before taking that one off too. He flipped his collar up then decided against it.

"What are you doing, DiNozzo?" He said to himself as he looked in the mirror. "This isn't a date, you idiot. This is just dinner with Ziva" Just dinner with Ziva_._ This wasn't just dinner with Ziva. This was dinner with the woman he loved_. _Tony sighed as he adjusted his collar, deciding to go without a tie. He stood and looked in the mirror before promptly smacking himself on the back of the head and heading to his car.

Ziva threw another dress on the bed. Tony had told her to wear a semi-nice dress, which meant he was planning a fairly nice dinner. She pulled another one on and looked in the mirror. The little black dress fit her form perfectly. It had long sleeves and a high back to cover her scars. She adjusted her hair and make-up then went to sit on the couch.

She was only seated for about five minutes before she heard Tony's infamous knock. She felt her heart flutter and scolded herself but still almost ran to the door. Once she reached it she slowed down, smoothing out her dress before opening the door as calmly as possible.

"Hello, Tony," she said as she looked him over. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a light green shirt with thin vertical white stripes. The outfit highlighted his eyes perfectly. His hair was gelled to perfection, just the way she liked it. "Please, come in."

"Actually, we better get going," Tony replied. "We have a reservation." Ziva nodded and accepted his outstretched hand, allowing him to lead her to his newly cleaned mustang.

Like a gentleman, he opened the door for her and let her get seated before he walked to the other side of the car and got in, and they were on their way.

"You surprise me, DiNozzo," Ziva said after a few minutes. Tony glanced at her. "I never expected you to be such a gentleman. Are you always this nice with your dates?" She asked before she realized what she was saying.

"This is a date?" Tony questioned, secretly hoping she would say yes. Ziva blushed but said nothing.

They settled into an awkward silence until they arrived at the restaurant. Tony stopped the car in front, got out, and walked to Ziva's side. He helped her out and led her inside, after paying the valet.

"DiNozzo," he said to the hostess. She nodded and led them to a table. Tony, continuing his gentleman act, pulled out her seat for her.

"Wow, Tony. This is beautiful. I was expecting a sushi bar when you said dinner," Ziva admitted.

"Well, I guess I might have gone a little over the top." Tony said with his usual smirk, looking around. Ziva put her hand on his.

"No, I love it," she reassured. He looked back at her and caught her eyes, trying to read them, and realized she was doing the same to his. Hers didn't reveal anything, and Tony watched her body language to see if she got anything from his. It didn't seem as if she had.

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress said. Her flirty tone did not go unnoticed by Ziva.

"Yea," Tony said, oblivious to the waitress. "We will have a bottle of Chardonnay." He looked at Ziva for approval, who nodded. "And I will have the T-bone steak."

"I will have a salad," she said simply.

"No," Tony interrupted. "Get something you really want." Ziva looked into his eyes again, then gave in.

"Alright, Tony," she said, though still reluctant. "I will have the house special."

The waitress nodded and left. Once she was gone Ziva look over at Tony again.

"What is up with you?" She questioned, though not accusingly.

"Maybe—" He stuttered, "maybe I want our first date to be unforgettable."


	4. Kinks

**Here is the next chapter. I am on spring break now so The next chapter will be out soon. please please review......constructive critiscism is more than welcome. **

**P.S. this is a re-submit. the first time there was a kink. (How Ironic) Sorry about that.**

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Tony?" Ziva said after a long silence. She twirled her wine glass with her hand and looked around her apartment. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He asked nervously, already knowing the answer.

"What you said, at the restaurant. About this being a date." She looked at him. He took a deep breath.

"Yes. I mean, if you want it to be," he said, suddenly very scared. Ziva looked down to try to hide her smile, but Tony, noticing everything about her, saw it.

"Yes, Tony, I want it to be." Tony grinned his famous 1,000 watt smile.

Suddenly Ziva's smile dropped. She looked down at her glass. Tony's smile also dropped and he looked at her, clearly concerned.

"Ziva?" He whispered. She didn't respond, so he put his finger under her chin and turned her head towards him, clearly worried. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It is nothing," she whispered, shaking her head away from his grip.

"No, it's something. What's going on?" Tony prodded. Ziva sighed, then looked at him again.

"I am scared!" She admitted. Tony grabbed her hand.

"Tell me what it is," he said calmly.

"It is a lot of things. There are too many things to get through." Tony shook his head.

"No, tell me them, and I'll find a solution," he insisted, staying firm.

"I am scared. I don't want to be one of your "boytoys" or whatever you Americans call it. I am tired of being used. I have never really been in a real relationship." Tony turned her head towards him again.

"I'm not that guy anymore. I don't want that either. I want a relationship." Ziva nodded.

"My father…" she whispered.

"What about him?" Tony asked, getting angry at the thought of that man.

"He has agents watching me at all times. I am always being spied on." Tony's face reddened.

"I don't care about that either. But I am going to fix that. When we get to work tomorrow I'm going to talk to Vance about it," he said, getting angrier by the minute.

"No, Tony. Please don't. I don't want anymore trouble," she pleaded, putting her hand on his forearm. He immediately relaxed.

"Ok, I won't say anything yet." He sighed. "Do you have any other issues with us dating?" He asked, his smile returning.

"Yes," she said. His smile dropped again. "Gibbs. Rule 12. We are not allowed." Tony looked at her, then laughed.

"What?" Ziva asked, exasperated.

"Do you think I really care about a stupid rule? We are the only ones who _haven't _broken that rule." At that Ziva grinned. Tony stopped laughing and looked at her. "I better go," he said as he turned serious. She nodded and walked with him to the door.

"Thank you, Tony. I had a great time tonight," Ziva said.

"You're welcome," he said, fidgeting nervously. "Um, Ziva?" He asked sheepishly.

"Yes, Tony?"

"Can I…Can I kiss you goodnight?" Ziva chuckled and nodded. Tony smiled and leaned down and pecked her on the lips softly.

"Goodnight, Ziva," he whispered then walked out to his car.

As soon as the door shut Ziva let her face break out into a huge smile. It wasn't how she had imagined it in the hundred different scenarios she had played in her mind before, but it was better than she could have ever imagined. She always knew Tony had a sensitive side, but to see his consideration for her fear towards this relationship was unexpected and very nice.

Tony smiled to himself as he walked out to his car. He had never done anything like that before, but he knew he didn't want to mess this up. Ziva was still a little afraid of being with him. He didn't care. He had gone and would go to the ends of the earth for her.


	5. Elevator

**Sorry for the insanely long delay. My Beta fish was on vaca. Next chapter should be (at least I hope so) up soon. Thank you for your patience! REview!**

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"Good morning, McGoo!" Tony said as he walked into the bullpen. Ziva glanced up from her desk and smiled slightly but said nothing.

"Let me guess. You had a date." McGee said smugly from his desk. Tony smiled as he sat down at his desk.

"Yes, yes I did." he said, glancing at Ziva. "With the most beautiful woman on the planet." Ziva blushed and her lips curved up into a small smile. McGee rolled his eyes, not seeing Tony and Ziva's silent conversation.

"Well, I don't want to hear about it." McGee explained. Tony laughed as he opened his mouth to brag some more.

"Keep your mouth shut, DiNozzo." Gibbs said as he entered, coffee in hand. He sat down at his desk and looked between Tony and Ziva, who were sending each other glances; then he stood up, throwing his coffee in the trash, and walked to the elevator.

"DiNozzo, David, with me." he said over his shoulder, leaving no room for argument. They followed.

The three entered the elevator, and Gibbs pressed a random button. As soon as it started he pressed the emergency button and stopped the elevator.

"Talk." Gibbs ordered. The two agents looked forward nervously. Gibbs sighed. "What happened?" There was no answer for several seconds. Finally, he broke the silence. "You two are dating." he said.

Ziva sighed. "Yes, Gibbs."

Gibbs turned around, looking frustrated. "Listen, I'll look past this. But I have a few rules." Tony and Ziva nodded. "One, keep it out of the office. Two, I need Ziva. She better not get pregnant. Three, I don't want this interfering with your work, got it?"

They both nodded once more. Gibbs pressed the emergency stop once more, and the elevator started again. As the doors opened, Gibbs walked over to Ziva and kissed her cheek then whispered in her ear.

"Congratulations, Ziver." Ziva smiled and nodded, then exited the elevator. Tony started to follow her when Gibbs stopped him.

"DiNozzo!" He half-yelled.

"Yes Boss?"

"You hurt her. I hurt you. Got it?" He asked, waiting for Tony to nod.

"I know, boss." Gibbs smiled.

"Congratulations to you, too."

"Thank you, boss." Tony said, smiling, as he followed Gibbs out of the elevator.

"What was that about?" McGee asked as Tony walked into the bullpen. Gibbs was no longer in front of him, most likely because he was replacing the coffee he had trashed minutes before.

"Nothing, McNosy." Tony said, taking his seat again. He looked at his screen, just as an AIM popped up.

_NinjaChick755: Should we tell him?_

Tony typed a response, chuckling at the username, which he had created for her. _Big D: Nah, we'll let him figure it out._

_NinjaChick755: Fine. _

_Big D: Dinner tonight?_

_NinjaChick755: My house, I'll make dinner. You can bring a movie._

_Big D: Can't wait. _

Tony smiled as he signed off. Ziva did the same. Neither could wait for that night.


	6. Deal

**Here is the next chapter! Thank you all for the great reviews!! And, if any of you want to submit your input on where you want the story to go, I would love to here it!

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"Come in!" Ziva yelled from the kitchen when she heard the familiar knock on the door. She listened to the sounds of Tony opening and shutting the door, setting his keys on the table, and walking to the kitchen, following the smell of food.

"Smells delish!" He said as he entered the kitchen. Ziva turned around at the sound of his voice. "What are we having?"

"Spaghetti," Ziva said as she walked to the oven to remove the garlic bread.

"Mmm, my favorite!" He said, walking over to the table where the pasta was waiting to be eaten. Ziva laughed, following him to the table with the bread.

"You say that every time I make you something. Sit," she ordered as she took a seat.

"Well, every thing you make is my favorite," he said with a smug but flirty smile. Ziva blushed and scooped out the pasta onto both their plates.

They continued light conversation throughout dinner, which ended when Tony leaned back and rubbed his stomach, complementing the cooking once again and earning yet another blush from Ziva. They then made their way to the living room where Tony put in a Sean Connery/James Bond movie, claiming, again, that it was the best. However, shortly after it started, he grabbed the remote and muted it. Ziva looked at him, confused.

"Let's make it sort of a game," he said. Ziva only became more confused.

"We end every date with you telling me something about Somalia. And, in turn, I will tell you something," he explained.

"Ok," Ziva said, contemplating the idea. She grabbed the remote and unmuted the TV, though neither actually paid attention to the movie.

When the credits began, he turned the TV off. "Alright," Tony said. "I'll go first." Ziva nodded so he continued. "I am scared every time we go out on the field."

Ziva smiled. "That's ok," she said. "Everyone gets scared, especially when they are getting shot at."

Tony shook his head and grabbed her hand. "I'm scared, not because I might get shot, but because I am afraid I will lose you."

He looked down, not wanting to see her reaction. Ziva put her finger under his chin, making him look at her. She said nothing, but placed a soft kiss on his lips. She felt him smile against her lips. Suddenly, he pulled away.

"Your turn," he said with a mischievous smile. She punched him in the shoulder, and then turned serious.

"Ok." She took a deep breath. She opened her mouth, and then stopped, not knowing what to say. Tony interrupted.

"Tell me how you got the scars," he whispered, thinking that was a good and safe place to start. She nodded.

"After I was captured, Saleem constantly questioned me for information. I told him nothing. He tortured me, hoping it would get me to talk, but my training taught me how to withstand the torture. He would ask me a question, and if I didn't answer he would take my knife and cut me. Not big enough to cause me to pass out, but enough to leave many scars," she finished, flinching as if she was feeling it all over again.

Tony nodded then grabbed her hand, and they stood up. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and left. Ziva stood there for a few minutes, and then she heard her phone ring. She opened it, revealing a text from Tony.

_Goodnight Crazy Ninja._


	7. The game or not

**Sorry it is taking so long to update! Between me and my wonderful beta's schedules we simply cannot generate them any faster. I will have the next chapter as soon as possible.**

**Share the love....Review**

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_3 weeks later…_

Tony and Ziva sat at their desks, attempting paperwork, though they never could concentrate with the other sitting right across the bullpen. Over the past few weeks they had spent almost every evening together, excluding nights when there was a case. Still, no one but Gibbs and Abby knew. (Abby had figured it out two and a half weeks ago.)

They had kept their promise, and each night had shared something. Ziva had decided to start with basic things from Mossad; she had yet to share the more serious stuff. Tony had shared things from his childhood; he had not gone into the past years, afraid that he would scare Ziva off with what he really wanted to say.

Tony turned on and typed on his computer, then waited. A moment later, Ziva's computer dinged, signaling the reception of the message.

_Big D: I have tickets to a hockey game tonight. Wanna go?_

_CrazyNinja755: Sure, but I have nothing to wear._

_Big D: Don't worry _

_CrazyNinja755: I will…now_

_Big D: Pick you up at 18:00._

_NinjaChick755: Fine_

Both signed off and got to work. Though Ziva still could not concentrate, she had no idea what Tony was planning. And that scared her.

_6:00 pm_

Tony checked his watch, the box in his hand, and then knocked on the door. He heard footsteps, and then the door opened, revealing Ziva in a plain red shirt and dark jeans. It wasn't fancy, but Tony was still speechless.

"Tony, you're drooling," Ziva said as she brushed passed him, heading towards his car. Tony snapped out of it in time to grab her arm and stop her.

"You're not getting in until you put this on," he said, giving her the box. She opened it to see a Washington Capitals Jersey.

"Thank you, Tony," she said, looking at the jersey. Then she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and ran inside to put it on, returning a few minutes later.

"Ready?" Tony asked. Ziva nodded and he led her to the car.

Once they were there Tony parked the car and they went to the front gate. On the way over Tony had explained that he was meeting some old friends who had gotten him the tickets. They did not have to wait long before three guys, most likely somewhat drunk, walked over to them.

"Big D!" They yelled as they hugged him.

"Hey guys!" Tony said, and then he walked back and put his hand on her back. "Guys, this is Ziva. _My_ girlfriend," he explained. Ziva blushed. The guys just stood there, spellbound.

"Wow," one of the guys finally said.

"Ziva," Tony said, turning to her, "this is Jake, Tom, and Will." Ziva nodded and shook their hands.

"Shalom," she said quietly. Jake, Tom, and Will looked at her, not having a clue what she said.

"It means hello," Tony cut in. The three still looked rather confused. "It's Hebrew." Now he was getting annoyed.

"Hebrew?" Tom questioned. Tony nodded.

"She is probably here illegally. I wonder if he paid to get her here in exchange for sleeping with him," Tom joked quietly to Jake and Will.

Tony, unfortunately for them, heard that and stepped in front of Ziva.

"Hey!" He almost yelled. "She is an NCIS Special Agent like me. She is more than capable than killing you and getting away with it. Do _not_ talk about her like that," he finished, seething. Then he smacked the tickets into Tom's chest and led Ziva back to the car.

When they got back to Ziva's apartment Tony led her to the door, kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave.

"Hey," Ziva said as Tony began to walk back to his car. "This is not your fault."

"I know." Ziva grabbed his arm.

"Come inside. We might as well do something, even if it is a movie," she suggested. He nodded and let her lead him into the living room. They sat on the couch and Ziva immediately leaned her head on his shoulder.

"You don't have to protect me. I can take care of myself," Ziva finally whispered.

"I know," he whispered back, kissing her forehead. "But I want to. I want you to live a normal life. To not have to worry about protecting yourself. To just be happy, with me."

Ziva turned to look him in the eyes; she saw no joking, only his sober face. Her face broke into a smile and she placed a kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

She leaned her head on his chest as he pulled her into a strong hug. She tried to relax but her mind was racing. _Tell him._ The thought ran through her head over and over. Suddenly, she pushed away. He looked at her concerned.

"I…" She took a breath shakily, nervous. "Saleem raped me."

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**Gotta love them cliffhangers huh?**


	8. Getting used to it

**Sorry for the insanely long wait. Like I said, both my beta and I have crazy schedules so it's hard to generate good chapters fast. Please please review! Anything would be great and if you want to give suggestions on where you want this to go, I will give you a virtual Abby hug.**

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"_I…" She inhaled, nervous. "Saleem raped me."_

It took Tony a while to realize exactly what she had said. He definitely had not expected _that._ Sure, it had run through his mind a few times, but he didn't think it was true. His expression showed confusion, then turned into anger…and hatred. The kind of hatred that causes people, normal people, to act like psychopaths.

Ziva watched his response. She looked down, ashamed and afraid. She was afraid that it was she who his anger was pointed towards. She stayed like that for several minutes before finally cautiously looking up.

"I am sorry, Tony," she said. "I tried to stop him, I really did. I was just…just so weak." She finished, tears flowing freely.

She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shook. Then she felt his strong hands on her shoulders. She flinched, afraid of what he would do. His hand moved to her chin, lifting her eyes to his. She no longer saw anger and hate. They had been replaced with worry, sadness, guilt….and love? His thumb came up and wiped away her tears oh, so gently.

"This is not your fault. None of it. You were starved, given barely enough food to live. You are not weak." He paused. "You are the strongest person I know." Now Ziva fell into his embrace, the tears flowing again.

"Thank you, Tony," she said after she composed herself again.

"I wish I could go back to Somalia, dig up Saleem, and bring him back to life. Just so I could kill him again. This time, slowly and painfully," Tony said, his eyes started to sparkling as he thought of all the things he could do. Then he felt a slap to the back of his head.

"Hey!" He yelled. Then, as if on cue, they both started laughing. They were glad the atmosphere was light again. When they finally caught their breath, Tony captured Ziva's lips with his. Her arms instinctively wrapped around his neck. When air became an issue, they pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other.

"So," Tony said. "I guess I have to tell you something now, huh?" Ziva's face broke into a smile and she nodded. Tony sighed. "Fine."

"You are my first girlfriend that has lasted more than two days since Jeanne." Ziva looked him over, trying read if he was serious. She figured he was. Suddenly she broke out laughing. "What?" Tony almost yelled.

"You. Haven't. Dated. In. Over. Two. Years?" She asked, having trouble talking through her laughing. Tony thought about it then realized it was actually pretty pathetic. He too started laughing hysterically. They laughed, about Tony, about nothing, about everything, for almost half an hour. Finally Tony said he had to go. With a quick kiss goodnight, he left. Two minutes later, Ziva received another text.

_Goodnight, sweet cheeks._

She smiled. She could get used to this.


	9. Shannon

**Again sorry for the long update, please don't hate me. This is a cute little chapter...almost completly unneccassary to the story, but I was really craving some tear-jerker fluff. So, uh, hear it is. Review=love**

**And A big thanks to my beta! She puts up with my crazy grammar mistakes, horribly sentence structure, and trying to correct her(when I'm wrong). I couldn't do it without you!**

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Tony sat at his desk, unable to concentrate. One, it was Monday, and he hated Mondays. Two, he had not slept at all in the past couple of days. The conversation he had had with Ziva was eating at him. He couldn't get it out of his mind.

Ziva glanced up at Tony. They had talked mainly business since she had told him the truth about Somalia. The only time she had heard from him outside of work was the good night text she got every night. She understood, though; he needed time to think. But she was beginning to worry about him.

_CrazyNinja755: Dinner?_

_Big D: I guess._

_CrazyNinja755: Snap out of it, Tony._

_Big D: What?_

_CrazyNinja755: Gibbs is going to see you distracted and you are going to get us yelled at_

Ziva was growing a little concerned over how long it was taking Tony to reply when _ding!_ She got a reply.

_Big D: Ok, dinner sounds good_

_CrazyNinja755: 19:00, my house… I am making lasagna_

_Big D: My favorite!_

_CrazyNinja755: You always say that_

_Big D: _

Ziva shook her head then signed off. She was glad to have her Tony back. She thought about that for a second, her Tony. Oddly, that didn't sound weird to her. She kind of liked it.

"Get back to work, you two," Gibbs barked as he walked in with the ever-present coffee cup.

"Yes, Boss," they said in unison as they began typing quickly on their computers. They stayed that way for the rest of the day. It seemed to them that nowadays all they did was paperwork, and it was rightly so. There had not been a case for some time now, or at least not an interesting one.

"Boss?" Tony asked around six o'clock. Gibbs simply looked up at him, his glasses on the tip of his nose. "It's six. Can we leave?" His voiced edged on the slightly whiny side.

Gibbs looked between the two agents. Neither had been acting normally all day. He supposed something was going on, but what? He didn't know. Nevertheless, he was in a good mood so he nodded. Both of them jumped up and walked towards the elevator.

As they entered the elevator Gibbs saw Tony put his arm around Ziva's shoulder and her lean into his embrace and look up at him. Though he couldn't see her face, Gibbs knew the look in Ziva's eyes. It was the same look he had received many times. He sighed as he had a flashback to himself doing the same thing to Shannon. She had always put her hand on his chest and looked up at him as they walked.

"They are just like we were, Shannon. You would have loved them," he whispered.


	10. Spill

**I know, I know I haven't updated in like centuries. I am sorry but school finishes friday (I know I get done late, don't remind me) and hopefully I should update sooner. **

**So, anyway this is an insanely fluffy chapter that as my Beta said is "missing something." What? I do not know, but I hope the next chapter will be better.**

**Thank you all for stickin' with me!**

* * *

All throughout dinner, Tony had barely said anything, even turning down a movie. She looked over at him, and he returned the look. She was getting frustrated.

"Tony," Ziva said, breaking the silence, "what is wrong with you?"

"I'm fine," Tony responded, almost at a whisper.

"Tony…" she said, now even more worried.

"I AM FINE!" Tony yelled.

Ziva looked into his eyes, challenging him. He didn't flinch, still full of anger. Suddenly Ziva slapped Tony across the face. He held his face as his head turned with the impact. He quickly recovered and looked back at Ziva. He immediately regretted yelling when he saw the look of pain in Ziva's eyes. His shoulders slumped and he sighed.

"I haven't slept since you told me what happened," he admitted, his eyes downcast.

"You feel guilty," she stated, though it was more a question. He nodded.

"I should have been there sooner. I shouldn't have let you leave. I shouldn't have let you go three months without calling. It is my fault, what happened to you." Tears started forming in his eyes. Ziva's eyes turned from the anger she had had before to pure love for the man sitting in front of her now.

"Gosh, why can't I do anything right?" He questioned himself, holding his head in his hands. "First Kate, then Jenny, Paula…and now what happened to you. I could have helped you, all of you. But, I didn't." She reached over and lifted his head so his eyes met hers.

"Tony," she said matter-of-factly. "What happened to me was NOT your fault. I want you to know that. I do not blame you." She grabbed his hand. "You feel guilty. I understand. You blamed yourself about Jenny, Kate, and Paula." She paused. "But that is who you are. You are the most caring, loving person I know. You feel the need to protect everyone around you. It doesn't make me think less of you…" Her hand moved to his cheek.

"It makes me love you even more."


	11. I will wait

**I am so sorry guys! My Beta returned this to me a while ago and it has been sitting in my inbox! I just got back from Kentucky on Sunday night and have been uterly exhausted. But that's no excuse...so, um, the chapter**

Tony turned over for what seemed the fiftieth time that night. He couldn't sleep. He didn't feel as guilty anymore, but that wasn't what was keeping him up. _She loves me_ was the only thing running through his mind right now, over and over again, like if he said it enough it would help. But it didn't.

* * *

Ziva lay awake in her bed. She didn't move. All she could think was _I said it. I told him I loved him. Does he love me?_ She rolled to her side and pulled the blanket closer to her chest. _Why didn't he say anything?_ She brushed away a single tear that started rolling down her cheek.

* * *

He sat up in his bed. He couldn't help it. Why hadn't he said anything back to her? _Do I love her? Tony DiNozzo does not fall in love. Crap._ He quickly got out of his bed, fixed his hair, grabbed his keys, and ran out the door…forgetting that he wasn't wearing any pants.

* * *

She slowly pulled the covers off herself. Maybe some ice cream would help. It helps everything, right? After she grabbed a spoon and a tub of triple chocolate swirl ice cream she sat on the couch. Anger started to boil inside her as she thought about the situation.

* * *

Tony slammed on the brakes when he arrived at Ziva's apartment. He slammed his car door and raced up the steps.

* * *

Ziva's head shot to the up when she heard a car door slam. Who would be here at 3 am? She heard a knock on the door. She half ran to the door, afraid something was wrong. Instead, she saw Tony. His hair was a mess, though you could tell he had tried to fix it. His shirt was wrinkled and stained. And he wasn't wearing any pants.

"Tony." The anger started to rise in her again.

Tony looked at her; he was out of breath. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead he simply placed a kiss on her lips. Ziva put her hands on her hips, not letting herself fall for his kiss. When she didn't kiss back, Tony pulled away.

"Ziva, I…I," He sighed. "Ziva, I know what you said tonight. It just didn't sink in for a while. I want to say it, I do." He scratched the back of his neck. "But I'm not ready. I'm sorry, Ziva."

Ziva looked at the man she loved. All the anger was gone, tears filled her eyes. She nodded and he pulled her into a hug. After a few minutes Ziva spoke into his shoulder.

"I love you, Tony. No matter what. I will wait for you." Tony kissed the top of her head and sighed. This was how it was supposed to be.


End file.
